Dropping Our First Child off at College

 Letting Go, Leaning In

Yesterday, I did something that, over the years of homeschooling, I wasn't sure was possible: I dropped my firstborn off at college. My Asher. The boy who once believed a hanger was a medieval weapon, and would run through the house vanquishing dragons with it. The boy that used to leave Lego kingdoms in every corner of the house is now three hours away with a full size kitchen, fridge, a desktop, and a newly acquired air of independence.

The drive there was long, like a drawn-out drumroll before a big reveal. Only my oldest and my youngest came along for the ride—a sort of bookend blessing. The youngest chattered cheerfully before dozing off, oblivious to the seismic shift happening in my mother-heart, while the oldest sat steady beside him, equal parts excitement and nerves, fiddling with his water bottle like it contained the courage he needed. My husband, driving, and finding a random assortment of innocuous subjects to talk about to help keep our minds off this huge milestone. 

When we arrived, I braced myself for awkward introductions and a nervous, homesick son. Instead, Asher dove in headfirst. Within hours of our leaving, he was hugging the school mascot and finding his way to the local church. Not only that—he showed up to the church picnic on Sunday. I should have known he'd participate in the church's fundraising auction this first weekend. He loves God and the church, and no matter where he's at, he knows he can feel at home there. My fears of him holing up in his dorm, surviving on Pop-Tarts and YouTube, vanished quicker than my gas tank on the return trip.

But oh, that return trip. The drive back was quieter. The youngest eventually fell back asleep, and We were left with all those thoughts that haunt parents when their child is out facing the world alone—thoughts that came in waves of pride and pangs of parting. There’s a bittersweetness to parenthood they don’t tell you about at the baby shower. You spend years teaching them to walk, then years teaching them to run toward good things. And when they finally sprint into their own future, your heart cheers and breaks in the same breath.

I’m thrilled for him, truly. He’s learning to cook his own meals (though I’m fairly certain his “culinary repertoire” currently consists of chili, ramen, and quesadillas). He’s making friends, finding faith-filled community, and fumbling forward with the kind of wide-eyed wonder I had once when I left home.

Still, as we walked to the car, I felt the ghost of his toddler hand in mine as I held his baby brother's hand, the echo of his teenage laughter bouncing off the minivan windows, the sudden strangeness of one less place set at the table, one less necessary seat in the van.

Every mother knows this feeling—the mixture of mourning and marvel, of fear and faith. We worry: Will he remember to eat? Will he lock his dorm door at night? Will he know that even when the world feels overwhelming, he can always call home?

I suppose that’s the secret of sending a child off to college. You don’t stop being a mother; you simply become a quieter one. As tempting as it is to call and check in each morning and evening, I'm not. I want him to have his space, to develop new relationships and to grow in ways he simply can't at home. I'll remian a cheerleader from afar. A prayer warrior in the wings. A three-hour drive away, but always, always close.

And so, I’ll keep cheering. I’ll keep praying. And when he comes home at Thanksgiving with a duffel bag full of laundry and stories about his suitemates, I’ll be waiting—with open arms, as stocked a fridge as we ever have with six other kiddos at home, and maybe, just maybe, his favorite meal.

Navigating Dual Enrollment for Homeschoolers

One of the benefits of attending public school is the ability to take college courses while still enrolled in High School. Students are able to earn college credit while simultaneously completing their high school graduation requirements. The tuition costs are deferred to the school district, and high schoolers are able to take up to two classes a semester after completion of at least one high school semester.

But, can homeschoolers dual-enroll?

YES! Homeschoolers are able to enroll in college classes once they are 15 years old (this may change depending on the college or university they are attending) and have successfully completed one semester of high school (9th grade) in their homeschool curriculum. Some school districts will allow homeschooled students to register for dual enrollment with them, but this is not a federal requirement. Unfortunately, you may need to absorb the tuition costs personally. 

Where do we begin?

Registering your high schooler for dual enrollment is a bit of a process. Once you've selected a college, you can begin by reaching out to the registration or enrollment department. Some colleges have a specific form that they require the student, teacher/counselor, and principal to complete, along with their traditional application, and most require your student to complete the Accuplacer test. As homeschoolers, you may need to pay the application fee for your student, though many colleges will waive this fee for high schoolers. 

Once you've completed the application and dual-enrollment forms, the college will require high school transcripts. As homeschoolers, our transcripts might look slightly different from the public school system, but they should include any courses your student has completed in high school, their final grade in each course, semester GPA, and overall GPA. You can find transcript samples and templates on websites like Time4Learning, Schoolhouse Teachers, and even within your Microsoft Word program. 

Some colleges require you to submit all this information with the application, whereas others will send you a request for documentation once they have accepted your student. Generally, your student will need to complete the Accuplacer test after the college has accepted their application and has continued with student enrollment. The Accuplacer test demonstrates student readiness for college. It's essential to check the college's website for its specific process. 

Do we fill out a FASFA?

No. Because your student is still in high school, they are not generally eligible for financial aid, like Federal Pell Grants or Federal Student Loans, which are primarily for students pursuing a degree or certificate program. Even though they can earn college credits, they are still high school students. If your school district allows your student to dual-enroll through them, the cost of tuition is covered by the district, but if not, there are other options to help with the cost. 

While your high school student may not be eligible for federal student aid, they can still apply for public and private scholarships and grants offered by the college or other state programs. It's important to keep this in mind, so you have time to complete the application process before your student's first college semester begins. The college financial aid department is a valuable resource for helping you navigate this process. 

But is it necessary?

Well, that depends. 

One thing I love about the homeschooling community is the acceptance of different ideas and perspectives. Some families focus on skill-building, others focus on character development, and still others focus on STEM. The goal of all homeschooling parents is to ensure their children have the best possible education and opportunities to excel. We want the best for our children and their futures. For some kids, that means certifications and vocational programs. For others, that might look like AP courses, STEM, dual-enrollment, or extracurricular activities. 

In our home, our children's lifelong happiness is essential. We want them to be kind, loving, & generous people who are willing to help their neighbors. But we also want them to feel fulfilled in their religious life and their career. Lofty goals, we know! Before high school graduation, we want each of them to know how to play an instrument (but what instrument is entirely their choice), we want them to have some kind of certificate to fall back on (again, entirely their choice), and we want them to understand how to budget their finances. So, for us, it is entirely dependent on our children if they want to pursue dual enrollment, sports, or other extracurricular activities. Still, we will encourage them to try at least once. 

College? Homeschooler's Can't Get into a College!

Our oldest just graduated high school and we've been navigating college applications, testing, enrollment, and FAFSA. Here's what we've learned: 

Can Homeschoolers go to College?

Absolutely! Homeschoolers can thrive in the college setting. According to HSLDA, a review of several independent studies demonstrates that homeschoolers score above and beyond their public schooled peers of like age. That means that homeschoolers might actually have an easier time in college than public and private school students!

What do I need to do to ensure my homeschooler can go to college???

As parents, the best thing we can do is provide our children with the best possible education. If we support them in pursuing their interests throughout their educational journey, they will generally do the rest. But, that doesn't mean we are "off the hook" so to speak. We need to do our research. Each college and university will have different requirements, but ALL will require your homeschooler's high school transcripts. Scary words, I know! But they're actually not that difficult to create. 

First, remember that you should keep detailed records of what you study!

I recommend starting to keep careful records when your child reaches Seventh or Eighth grade. This will give you time to practice with different programs or techniques. Some homeschool programs include tracking software and templates. Schoolhouse Teachers, for example, has AppleCore included in your subscription. Applecore will allow you to create your transcripts easily, and you can keep track of grades, activities, field trips, and attendance. Time4Learning also provides a transcript template and keeps track of your students hours of study and grades. Some parents utilize a physical gradebook whereas others create an Excel spreadsheet. The important thing is that you keep track! You state's education website is a great source, too. 

How do you determine credits? One high school credit equals about 120-180 hours of instruction. That's about 1 hour a day, five days a week, throughout the school year. If your student attends a co-op or takes a course outside of your home, you can still award credit for these activities, and partial credits are completely normal. Most states have a minimum number of credits to meet graduation requirements. In the United States, your student will need 18-24 credits to graduate (you'll want to check your state guidelines). 

But wait...isn't there testing? What happened to the SAT & ACT?

Yes, your student will need to take some kind of standardized test to enroll in college courses. Many local high schools will allow your homeschooler to take the ACT/SAT with their 10th-12th graders. Call the office to find out when they offer the test and see if they'll let your student jump in! Another option is to call a local testing center at a community college to see if they proctor one of these exams. They will usually let you set up a time to come and take the examination. Our graduate opted not to take the SAT/ACT and instead chose to take the Accuplacer test. This test is taken at the local community college or university and is proctored in their testing center. In our case, the test was taken on a computer. If the college or university your child wants to attend isn't nearby, no problem! The testing school will send the results to your selected college or university. Also, if your student fails a specific portion of the exam, they can retake just that portion for around $5. 

The long and short of it is that yes, your homeschooled graduate can attend any college or university they want. Filling out your FAFSA is pretty much the same as it is for a public school student, and yes, your student can qualify for Scholarships, Grants, and Student loans. There is definitely a learning curve when navigating the application process, but it is not much different than it was when I navigated it as a newly graduated public schooler. Don't let fear that your student can't get into a good college stop you from homeschooling through high school. Many of the best colleges even prefer and seek out homeschooled students!

5 Misconceptions About Homeschooling

As we prepare to start our fifteenth year of homeschooling, we find ourselves facing the same basic misconceptions that we've endured for over a decade. As a homeschooler, constantly addressing these falsehoods can become tedious, and it can be difficult to refrain from making a sarcastic comment when confronted with apparent disdain and ignorance.

Here are some of the more common misconceptions we've run into in the last fifteen years....

Misconception Number One: You get to sleep in....

I don't know how it is for every other homeschooling family, but our children almost NEVER sleep in (unless they are sick). In fact, with seven children between 18 months and 19 years, sleeping through the night is 'iffy' most nights, let alone sleeping in until 7:00 am. If one or more of our children sleep until 7am it's a rare morning. I might not have that mad dash to get children on a bus in the morning, but we are definitely up and at 'em bright and early, just like most other families with children. Since we don't subsist on cold cereal and Poptarts, we are in the kitchen making breakfast by 8am.

Misconception Number Two: You get to relax all day while your children watch "educational" TV

To be honest, there have been days, especially during the early or later stages of pregnancy or during illness, where our "schooling" consisted of a few more episodes of "The Magic School Bus" or "Popular Mechanics Kids" than I might prefer, but that's the benefit of homeschooling. It adjusts to what is happening in your life and family right then and there. Each minute of each day. That means some days we might watch television -- but it also means we might spend the entire day at a museum, hiking through the woods, or reading a great piece of literature. There are no "school" bells to stop our learning for the day, and more often than not, it begins early in the morning, measuring out ingredients to make breakfast and continues until the lights are turned off for bed at night (unless of course we're studying the stars). With homeschooling, there are no true "days off" or weekends because every day is a learning experience, filled to the brim with teachable moments. 

Misconception Number Three: Every Day is a Pajama Day

I know some people really, really love their pajamas. That's just not me. It's a rare day when I come downstairs and start breakfast without getting dressed for the day and making the bed first. But, for my kids, it's more of a variant. If we have places to go, I will send them to get dressed for the day right after breakfast. If being in their pajamas is hampering their learning for a time, I will have them get dressed before coming to the breakfast table. Other days, I might not remind them until lunch. And yes, there have been times when they wear their pajamas all day. If they are comfortable, learning, happy, and healthy, what clothing they wear shouldn't matter. That's one of the glories of homeschooling; it adapts to what works for you. Truly, is there anything better than cuddling up with a good book under a soft blanket in front of a fire with a cup of hot cocoa handy? Don't you wish you could have done that during your school days? I certainly do!

Misconception Number Four: You shouldn't homeschool if you don't have a degree

While this argument might seem valid to some, a college degree doesn't mean a person will be a good teacher, able to share or impart a passion for learning onto their pupils. To suggest that a normal adult parent is incapable of teaching their young children basic concepts is absurd. Parents are natural educators of their children. It is parents that teach their children how to speak (though typically unintentionally), parents that potty train their sons/daughters, parents that teach life skills (dressing, brushing hair/teeth) and parents that divest the knowledge of right and wrong to their children from the youngest of ages. Parents are natural teachers and advocates for their children, knowing them better than any strange adult in an institutional classroom ever could, with an intense desire to see their child succeed and the determination to find the best methods to ensure that success. A loving parent can do far more for their child's education than a horde of "education experts" intent on creating a cookie cutter methodology of education. 

Misconception Number Five: It's Easy!

Of all the things I have done or attempted to do in my life, homeschooling is by far the most difficult. It's so much more than being a Mom or a Teacher. It's both jobs, plus cook, custodian, and counselor all mixed into one, with no breaks, no aides in the classroom that can take over for a few minutes, and no Principal to delegate discipline to. It is challenging in every aspect. Keeping up with grade level expectations, researching learning models, teaching methods, and constantly evaluating and adjusting lessons so they can benefit your child/children the most. It's humbling to know that your children's success depends entirely on you and your ability to provide them with a quality education and the foundation for a good life. There are power struggles, daily learning lessons, tears (both yours and your children's), and sometimes, you learn more about yourself and your preconceived notions than you might like. It is the single most difficult and rewarding calling I can imagine.


There are many other misconceptions about homeschooling, like that pesky thing about socialization or that homeschoolers can't get accepted into big-name universities, but we'll talk about those later.

Busy Days

 Long absence....but we're back!

It has been several years since I've posted on here....so what's happened in all that time? 

Well, life has been busy. To begin with, I took a step back when we decided to move. AGAIN! I didn't think it would be quite this long of a break, but there we were, renting a 900 sq. ft. three-bedroom cabin with six children, two cats, and no washer or dryer. With the FLU! Yes, we moved at the height of flu season, and we had that wretched stomach bug for almost a month. It was miserable to say the least. Also, it was a true realization that I'd been spoiled our entire marriage, because I never needed to go to a laundromat before that time. Weekly visits to a laundromat with six children were not easy, but we took our school work with us and made the best of the long tables. I didn't have time to blog.

Fast-forward about six months, and we were moving again, this time into a house. Some things are absolutely picturesque: A river runs at the edge of our backyard, and we have an enormous yard, trees, chickens, and a pool. But, there were some drawbacks with the house (the previous owners were heavy smokers, which meant a LOT of cleaning), some mold, and old carpet to deal with. It's been a slow process. We've been here for around six years, and in that time, I accepted a position teaching English online at a community college and ESL online in virtual classes. We also welcomed a foreign exchange student from Brazil for one school year. That was an amazing experience! He went home to Brazil, and a couple of months later, just as we were getting used to taking one vehicle as a family again, we learned we were expecting our 7th child! I told you life has been busy!!

We welcomed our seventh child in the beginning of 2024. He is amazing. Are you keeping track? We now have three sons and four daughters! That's growth for you. But, we have the "exchange bug" and last school year, we welcomed another foreign exchange student, this time a young lady from Finland. So we have two host children (who we are blessed to still talk with regularly) and seven biological children. Crazy, right?

As of May we have officially graduated our oldest child. That feels a bit surreal when we think about it. We are sending him off to college at the end of this month, and I am going back to college to start on my doctoral degree as he begins his first semester. Someone asked me why I wanted to go back to school again, and all I could say is that, for me, college courses are refreshing. Are they work? YES! But they also really push me to do something for myself and keep me motivated. 

So many other things have happened in the last six years, but I'll try to get to some of those later. Will I keep up with the blog now? Boy, I don't know, but I sure hope so!